3000 AD by Andrew Klawitter

 I woke up to the smell of thick smoke in the air. Exhausted from the day before, I checked the time and saw that my phone was shattered. I panicked and sprinted out of bed to find my family, but I couldn’t find anyone. Confused, I looked out my hazy bedroom window and saw smoke everywhere. There were strange figures that looked like zombies walking and swaying along my street. I kept running around the house when I saw the old family calendar and it said the year 3001. “No way” I thought to myself.

I grabbed my dad’s shotgun and loaded a few rounds into the chamber.  I nervously cracked the front door open very slowly to take a peek.  The air was stinging my eyes and made me cough.  I saw dozens of those zombie things walking and swaying aimlessly. I went closer and closer to investigate one and it wasn’t a human. The eyeless face was covered in cuts and bruises. I tripped over the curb onto my back and fumbled running and coughing inside my house. 

I yelled for my family upstairs and couldn’t find them anywhere. I looked very closely out family room window to see what was happening outside. I looked up towards the sky and I saw that there were spaceships soaring high in the atmosphere. It was starting to look like life from another planet was on earth. Now everything was clicking, I started to think to myself. The world got so horrific that everybody fled earth.  But, why am I left here?  

I closely observed the sky and zombies a bit longer. All of the sudden there was a loud scratch sound at my back door and I ducked aiming my shotgun. Cautiously, I tiptoed closer and closer and saw that it was a frail, shaking dog. I opened the door and as the dog ran inside the outside smell was so bad that I could almost taste it. The dog had a collar but no name on it. So I went with a basic name and called him Doug. 

After a day of trying to figure what the heck happened… Doug and I were hungry. I started searching eagerly for food but couldn’t find anything. I let him outside to use the bathroom when I saw a fish jump out of the pond behind our house. That’s when it clicked and I could fish for food. I first built a face mask out of old drywall and wood I found. To fish I obviously need a pole, string and some bait. I looked where my old tackle box was and found all of my old tools. While putting on my mask I went outside with a cooler filled with water to catch some fish. The water was old and muddy, making me second guess my plan to survive off fish.  After a couple of hours I managed to catch a ton of fish. I was starving, but didn’t know how I was going to cook this fish.  This was a matter of survival.  I remembered that there was a little shop down the street. So I grabbed the keys and tried to start up the old car. Nothing. I popped the hood and tinkered around with the engine and battery. “Here goes nothing,” I whispered to Doug. 


Comments

5 responses to “3000 AD by Andrew Klawitter”

  1. jackattack11 Avatar
    jackattack11

    I liked how you described everything pretty well.

    I noticed that you ended on a cliffhanger. It made me want to read more.

    I wondered if the car ever started.

    I would suggest writing a little more about the spaceships in the sky.

    Strong words or phrases were, “Now everything was clicking, I started to think to myself. The world got so horrific that everybody fled earth.  But, why am I left here?”

  2. lucyabigailanton Avatar
    lucyabigailanton

    I liked that you made it about zombies and aliens that’s really creative.

    I noticed that you explained what the zombies were like in deatil.

    I wondered why your character was left on earth alone.

    I would suggest slowing down the story a bit. It felt a little rushed.

    Strong words or phrases  “So I grabbed the keys and tried to start up the old car. Nothing. I popped the hood and tinkered around with the engine and battery. “Here goes nothing,” I whispered to Doug.”

  3. Tony Mazzella Avatar
    Tony Mazzella

    I noticed your character adapted to your new life extremely quick

    I wondered what you did the day before

    I liked how your character stopped at nothing

    I would suggest telling a bit about his family

    Strong words or phrases “The eyeless face was covered in cuts and bruises.”

  4. tessaputrich Avatar
    tessaputrich

    I noticed that everything escalated very quickly

    i liked how you adapted and fished for food

    i wondered more about the spaceships and why you were the only person left.

    i would suggest slowing down a little bit and going more into detail about your surroundings and using your senses more. Maybe a little more dialogue?

    Strong phrases or literary devices “I let him outside to use the bathroom when I saw a fish jump out of the pond behind our house.”

  5. Sarah Pring Avatar
    Sarah Pring

    I liked… that you did a time travel theme ( I think? The character seemed surprised to see the year 3001) Because it allowed for the character to compare and contrast our current world to the futuristic one and highlight the drastic changes.

    I noticed… you put lots of detail into your essay, about how things looked and smelled.

     I wondered…Where the zombies came from?

    I would suggest… Talking more about Doug.

    Strong words, phrases, or literary devices were…I kept running around the house when I saw the old family calendar and it said the year 3001. “No way,” I thought to myself.

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